Friday, December 17, 2010

Shampoo Fetish Etiquette

A few yers ago, I got in a heated debate on the ShampooForum. This guy had posted a series of videos featuring a woman getting her hair shampooed in salon. The problem with it, for me anyway, was that he filmed it with his cell phone, she had no idea he was making a video. I knew it was probably legal, but it still rubbed me the wrong way:

1) Video or no video, he watched a woman get her hair washed, and he watched it because it aroused him. Personally, I would HATE IT if some creep watched me get shampooed in a salon, I didn't even like it when my mom watched me when I was a kid. Being watched is really awkward, no matter what you're doing, at least for me anyway. People need to realize that women were not put here to perform for others, we do not walk down the street so men can stare at our asses, we don't sit on the subway so men can jack off to the sight of us. Sure, if something catches your interest, look, but just for a moment.

2) If some guy posted a picture or video of me doing anything so other guys can jack off to it, I would feel extremely violated. I choose what about me gets shared on the internet, no one else.

People raged at me and called me stupid and ignorant, mostly because they asserted it was completely legal to do, and also that in the shampoo community we should share as much as we can. Well, I'm going to assert what I believe to be a reasonable code of etiquette for this fetish community.

1) CONSENT IS KEY! Never shampoo someone without their consent, and never photograph or record the shampoo without their consent either. A forced shampoo can be hot, and can be faked in a video with a consenting actor, but in reality, doing anything for erotic purposes to an unwilling person can be traumatizing. And never post or sell the video without their consent either.

2) Never stare at a woman being shampooed in a salon. Even if she doesn't know you're watching her, even if she doesn't know you're turned on by it, it's a sketchy thing to do, and it treats that woman like a sex object.

The key is context. Yes, it's not sexual by mainstream standards, she's not naked, you're not staring at her ass or breasts, BUT it turns you on the same way those normal sexual acts do, so that fetish puts the act of shampooing in the category of erotic behaviors.

3) Proceed gently when you try to contact a woman online about this fetish. Public posting like this is one thing, because any creepy behavior can be moderated - in private messaging, harassment can happen much more easily, and that is scary. Even if you have somewhat good intentions, even the invitation to chat privately can make her uncomfortable, so don't get offended or persist if she rejects or ignores your advance. Never expect a woman to share pictures or private information.

That's all I can think of for now.

1 comment:

  1. hi I agree cosent to filming or taking pics is a must I must admit I feel uncomfortable when so called hidden camera clips are posted and I feel they should be discouraged