Friday, December 17, 2010

Shampoo Fetish Etiquette

A few yers ago, I got in a heated debate on the ShampooForum. This guy had posted a series of videos featuring a woman getting her hair shampooed in salon. The problem with it, for me anyway, was that he filmed it with his cell phone, she had no idea he was making a video. I knew it was probably legal, but it still rubbed me the wrong way:

1) Video or no video, he watched a woman get her hair washed, and he watched it because it aroused him. Personally, I would HATE IT if some creep watched me get shampooed in a salon, I didn't even like it when my mom watched me when I was a kid. Being watched is really awkward, no matter what you're doing, at least for me anyway. People need to realize that women were not put here to perform for others, we do not walk down the street so men can stare at our asses, we don't sit on the subway so men can jack off to the sight of us. Sure, if something catches your interest, look, but just for a moment.

2) If some guy posted a picture or video of me doing anything so other guys can jack off to it, I would feel extremely violated. I choose what about me gets shared on the internet, no one else.

People raged at me and called me stupid and ignorant, mostly because they asserted it was completely legal to do, and also that in the shampoo community we should share as much as we can. Well, I'm going to assert what I believe to be a reasonable code of etiquette for this fetish community.

1) CONSENT IS KEY! Never shampoo someone without their consent, and never photograph or record the shampoo without their consent either. A forced shampoo can be hot, and can be faked in a video with a consenting actor, but in reality, doing anything for erotic purposes to an unwilling person can be traumatizing. And never post or sell the video without their consent either.

2) Never stare at a woman being shampooed in a salon. Even if she doesn't know you're watching her, even if she doesn't know you're turned on by it, it's a sketchy thing to do, and it treats that woman like a sex object.

The key is context. Yes, it's not sexual by mainstream standards, she's not naked, you're not staring at her ass or breasts, BUT it turns you on the same way those normal sexual acts do, so that fetish puts the act of shampooing in the category of erotic behaviors.

3) Proceed gently when you try to contact a woman online about this fetish. Public posting like this is one thing, because any creepy behavior can be moderated - in private messaging, harassment can happen much more easily, and that is scary. Even if you have somewhat good intentions, even the invitation to chat privately can make her uncomfortable, so don't get offended or persist if she rejects or ignores your advance. Never expect a woman to share pictures or private information.

That's all I can think of for now.

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Time to Write!

My finals are over, so I have a little more time to write! That is, when I have a private moment here and there, I'm going home tomorrow.

First things first, I dyed my hair! I meant to get a deep red, but I didn't realize crimson was actually a shade of pink. Boy do I feel dumb. In any case, the color works for me.

Me and my boyfriend have bathed together a couple times. One shower, one bath, and he's not that great of a shampooer. Not a dealbreaker, of course. He still doesn't know about my fetish, for some reason I'm still too shy to tell him. It does feel nice when he washes my hair, he's very gentle and that alone feels pretty good.

A new guy has come into my life, and while I'm not looking to start a relationship with him anytime soon, I find myself wondering if he's into shampooing. I always wonder that about a new guy. He doesn't have to be, but it would be so great to date someone who has this fetish. It will be interesting to see if me and this guy end up together, he seems really into me and I find myself thinking about him way too much.

But enough about my silly love life, that's not what you're here for, is it?

There have been some new shampoo videos on YouTube nowadays. Not a whole lot of good ones, but one has really gotten my attention:



The Hairfun is a pretty good site, until recently all the shampoo clips have been decent, but for some reason there's been a slew of "giggling girls" videos. I guess some people are into watching girls just having fun and washing each other's hair over the bathtub. Kind of creepy, but hey, that's voyourism for ya. I'm not saying I don't like the home setting, give me a good video (key word: good) of a guy washing his girlfriend's hair over the bathtub any day, but that's different, it's romantic and sensual, not "teehee, look at this crazy, silly thing we did when Jenny and Lizzy slept over!" Honestly, why do girls upload those videos, the only people who like them are guys who get turned on by that stuff. I wonder if these girls are aware of that.

Also, I'm really tired of videos of kids taking bubble baths ending up in my "reccomended for you" section. Ew. No. Creepy. Just . . . no. Again, why upload that??

Then again, there are a lot of pointless videos on YouTube. Lots of delusional people out there I guess.

Let's see, what else . . .

Oh, the LatherFantasies videos have gotten weird. No offense to the guy who makes them, I'm sure they're hot to some people, but it's like shampoo torture, it's weird. A little force is fine, it can be hot, but there's a point where it's just mean, and then it's actually a turn-off. But hey, that's just me, I've never been into girl-on-girl stuff anyway.

Then there are the hairmovies previews. They're pointless, they just show a woman going into a salon and getting set up, the clip stops before anything good happens. OR the clip just shows her getting rinsed. Not much of a preview. But again, it's girl-on-girl in a professional setting, it's obviously made for guys, not really appealing to me anyway.

I'm trying not to judge other people's fetishes, or variations of a particular fetish, but sometimes it hard to wonder "uh . . . people find this hot?" or even find something extremely creepy. Hell, I find it creepy that my 24 year-old ex dating an 18 year-old really weird - even if he wasn't my ex I'd probably be icked out by the whole thing. Sometimes a preference borders on sexism, like when people fetishize youth and innocence in girls, as a feminist I find that kind of wrong. But hey, that's just me.

Now I'm picturing the scene in The Hunchback of Notre Dame where . . . uh, that priest guy is obsessing over the gypsy Esmerelda and it's tormenting him. He can't help it, but it's super creepy.