Saturday, April 2, 2011

The Struggle For Female Fetishists

I never told my first two boyfriends about my fetish. I was too shy. Even now I'm often shy about telling a guy what I want, and just now have I really figured out what it is.

It's not just that being turned on by hair washing is different, but it involves having a guy do something for me that isn't inherently sexual, and unless he's into shampooing as well, isn't much of a turn-on for him. To ask for a shampoo is to ask to be massaged and pampered, an often selfless task for the shampooer, and perhaps that's why my last partner believed I had to earn washings, while he was more willing to have sex with me, which he did consider a favor to me even when it involved a good bit of coercion.

(yes, it's exactly what you think it means)

I wouldn't be surprised if other girls feel this way. It's quite an obstacle to overcome, feeling like you can't ask for what you want directly without coming across as too aggressive or downright selfish. I wish I had better advice to women on how to ask for it, but personally I've often had to be subtle about bringing it up. I've had to start with casually bringing up the topic of fetishes, and try to get him really interested in what mine might be before I finally spill it. Even as it comes out, I feel silly, embarrassed, as if my fetish is stupid, childish, and immature.

Luckily, most guys have found it cute, intriguing, and in a couple cases flat-out hot.

Most guys I've dated have seemed unwilling to shampoo me anywhere but in the shower. Maybe it's because that's the only way they can get something out of it - they get to wash a wet, naked girl and possibly turn the shampooing into a conventionally sexual act. I've dropped hints that I wanted it over the sink, they either fell on deaf ears, or they were intentionally ignored, or the guy made an excuse as to why not. Frustrating. Sometimes all I want is a shampoo, no sex or nudity involved. Why is that so hard for guys to comprehend? Well, I'm sure you guys get it, but not normal guys.


  1. Very interesting post, that sounds frustrating indeed! You're not being selfish at all, it's only fair to ask your partner to do something you enjoy. I think that ignoring your requests, or making you jhave to "earn it" is pretty mean. After all, a relationship is a two way thing, both people need to be catered for.

    It seems that all most guys want to do with a girl is have sex. This seems to be reinforced by society in general, you rarely see fetishes represented in mainstream media, while sex is everywhere. It's a shame, since for some people, enjoying their fetish is almost as important (sometimes even more) as having sex.

    There's nothing abnormal about it, everyone's an individual. You're a normal girl, I'm a normal guy and we both get it.

  2. I agree completly with iamme. When two people have the right feelings for each other, they want to please the other person. For me anyway, my greatest satisfaction comes from making my partner happy, whether it's a great shampoo, wonderful sex, or just making her feel loved and needed. I think that is what we all crave, and two people sharing an erotic shampoo should really add to the relationship